THE ME-OW INSTITUTE FOR DEPRESSED CATS
Because mental health is nothing to play around with, even if it's on a keychain
A History of Innovation
In 1922, Founder and occasional lozenge salesman Jeff Hoagland took a vacation in Dothan, Alabama that changed his life forever. While returning a belt at Macy's, Jeff suddenly envisioned a new type of super-conductive metal that would allow vast quantities of quantum energy to be harnessed at temperatures well above absolute zero. Ultimately the math didn't work out, but later on he wondered if he could make sad cats feel better by reading them stories and buying them quality products at discount prices.
100 years later, Jeff Hoagland's nascent dream has finally come to life under the guidance of current CEO Jeff Hoagland (no relation).
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All short stories are BPA free and tested for pesticides. If wheezing occurs, wrap short story in swaddling cloth, place it on your most significant hope chest, and contact customer support.
You may be tempted to purchase two short stories rather than a single long story. This is madness. We create long stories for a reason. Don't order a steak and then question how we kill the cow.
STORIES OF INDETERMINATE LENGTH
Stories of indeterminate length do not qualify as actual stories and may actually be a form of psychosis.
RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE IMAGING
Our labs employ a full suite of cutting-edge VIPR technology to assist healthcare providers in diagnosing and pre-diagnosing your brain-eating bacterial concerns.
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HOURS OF OPERATION
Mon - Fri: 1pm - 6pm
Sat: 10am - 6pm
CLOSED MONDAY - SATURDAY